In addition to his presidential duties, Donald Trump operates Six Flags Over Pennsylvania Avenue. This taxpayer-funded amusement park promises never a dull moment. Its rides are some of the world’s most thrilling—like nothing anyone has seen before.

The senior-staff roller coaster plunged at dizzying speed on Thursday morning, as national security adviser Michael Waltz seemed to drop to his doom. How badly would he crash? Could he survive the impact at that velocity and from such commanding heights?

But just when Waltz looked cooked, the roller coaster took a sharp turn. In a head-snapping surprise, it shifted north and climbed anew. 

“I am pleased to announce that I will be nominating Mike Waltz to be the next United States Ambassador to the United Nations,” Trump declared via Truth Social at 2:16 p.m. ET “From his time in uniform on the battlefield, in Congress and, as my national security adviser, Mike Waltz has worked hard to put our nation’s interests first. I know he will do the same in his new role.”

So, Waltz advances to New York City, where he will be America’s voice at the institution that embodies Winston Churchill’s words: “Meeting jaw to jaw is better than war.”

Meanwhile, Secretary of State Marco Rubio found himself on the Centripetal Force Multiplier. As it rapidly revolved, power moved toward Rubio, not away from him. He now will serve as both secretary of state and national security adviser. 

The late, great Henry Kissinger, one of America’s most legendary diplomats, simultaneously held both posts between September 1973 and November 1975. But Henry the K never ran the National Archives. What a slacker!

America’s acting archivist is none other than … Rubio! He also currently leads the Agency for International Development. The faster the Centripetal Force Multiplier turns, the more jobs Rubio will hold. If the hapless Jerome Powell quits the Fed, the talented Rubio could become Federal Reserve chairman.

For his part, Powell wanders through a Six Flags section called Limbo Land: Trump does not love Powell enough to grant him a long-term pass. But Trump does not hate him enough to banish him. So, Powell stumbles around looking for signs of growth to stomp on in a deeply misguided effort to fight inflation by hobbling economic expansion.

This question immediately occurs: How might Waltz perform as U.N. ambassador? His quietly secured achievements at the NSA offer clues:

• The National Security Council captured and extradited Mohammad Sharifullah, the accused mastermind of the August 2021 suicide bombing at Kabul International Airport, the nadir of then-President Joe Biden’s shambolic Afghanistan retreat. This ISIS-K onslaught killed 13 U.S. troops and wounded 18 other Americans in uniform. This attack killed at least 170 Afghans and injured 132 others.

• The NSC helped free 47 Americans held hostage or unfairly detained overseas.

• Waltz wallpapered his West Wing office with bad guys’ scalps. The NSC counted 78 terrorists killed via Trump 47’s counterterrorism efforts in Iraq, Somalia, and Syria. 

• The NSC helped liquidate 82 Houthi officers and 120 fighters via airstrikes on 800 targets in Yemen. Such U.S. firepower will Make the Red Sea Great Again.

• NSC pressure persuaded Mexico to dispatch 10,000 soldiers to its side of the frontier. This reform helped shrivel illegal-alien border crossings by 95% and known gotaways by 99% under Trump 47.

Turning terrorists into burger typically exceeds a U.N. ambassador’s job description. However, these triumphs confirm that Waltz is a hard-liner who delivers.

“Mike Waltz was, in my view, an excellent national security adviser,” says Robert O’Brien, Trump 45’s NSC chief from 2019-21, and the last Republican to lead that institution. “Mike explained the president’s policies in a reasonable and confident manner. He played an important but underestimated role coordinating the president’s bevy of high-profile special envoys, including Steve Witkoff, Richard Grenell, and Adam Boehler,” O’Brien continued, citing Trump’s ambassadors tapped, respectively, to pursue Middle East peace, perform special missions, and liberate American hostages and detainees.

“Often forgotten, Mike is a former Army Special Forces colonel, with multiple combat tours in the sandbox. So, our adversaries will know that President Trump is represented by a warrior,” he said.

“Mike Waltz is an American hero who has served our country with honor, from the battlefield to Congress and now as our next ambassador to the United Nations,” says Rep. Randy Fine, R-Fla., the man who replaced Waltz in the House. “I’m confident he will bring the same strength, clarity, and conviction to the world stage that he has always shown at home. I trust the judgment of President Trump and his team, and I look forward to working with our next national security adviser.”

“One thing is certain: The fight against the war on Israel and the Jewish people is far from over,” Fine continued, addressing matters that Waltz surely will address. “America remains ready to confront Muslim terrorists and rescue innocent lives in Gaza from the barbarism we’ve seen unfold that all too many politicians choose to ignore.”

Onetime U.N. Ambassador Daniel Patrick Moynihan called the world body “A Dangerous Place.” As the source of abundant global mischief, the U.N. deserves a hard-boiled American emissary to resist the thieves and thugs who befoul the General Assembly.

Tough and effective, Waltz is poised to represent America admirably. And as crazy as things might get at the U.N.’s Manhattan headquarters, he likely will find it calm and soothing compared to Six Flags Over Pennsylvania Avenue.

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